You may or may not have attended college, and if you did, you may or may not have joined a fraternity… for that matter, you may or may not be a dude, which is a prerequisite for said fraternity. Anyhoo, people who are in fraternities do stupid, stupid things. I have witnessed (and sadly participated in) some… okay, many, of these dumb things back in my college days, but the one that I want to revisit today is the infamous milk challenge.

If you aren’t familiar with this challenge, the gist is this: One man, one gallon of whole milk, and one hour to drink it. Simple… and terrible for witnesses and participants alike, as the inevitable result is pretty unappetizing.

I think frat dudes are the only people crazy/drunk enough to even try this. I’ve seen it. It’s gross/hilarious.

So what does this have to do with the GOMAD diet? Does it call for a gallon of whole milk every hour, on the hour? No no, nothing crazy like that. I figured I’d bring the shock and awe of the milk challenge to open your mind to the idea of the GOMAD diet: one man, one gallon of whole milk, one full day to drink it. See? That’s not so bad, right?

yum

This should last about a week

How it’s done

Sorry, this isn’t a one-time thing. To do the GOMAD justice, one must drink a gallon of whole milk per day for 1-2 months straight. Not only do you have to drink the milk, but you need to eat your normal meals and snacks throughout the day. Considering that a gallon of whole milk has roughly 2400 calories in it, and you’re supplementing that with 2000+ calories of regular food…

Yeah, you did it math wiz, that’s equals a ****load of calories.

Why, dear God, would you do this

Well, to get huge-ified of course. Or more specifically, pack on a good amount of weight and muscle in a short period of time.

Many people seriously advocate this diet for “hard gainers” (guys with really fast metabolisms), which would make sense since you’re taking in tons and tons of calories, and milk is packed with loads of protein and macronutrients for getting straight yoked (or fat).

Sure, it’s obvious that you’ll pack on some fat in the process, but if you’re consistently lifting heavy weights, the idea is your muscle gains will be a significant portion of your weight gain; and if you’re a person who has a hard time gaining weight, it’s probably not such a problem for you to lose the fat after you’re done with the weight gain phase.

I’ve seen claims around the all-knowing, never lying, Internet that some guys have gained as much as 25lbs in 25 days. I’m going to say that’s BS, but hey, who knows?

But why whole milk!?

Ha. My doctor asked the same question.

Well the idea behind the whole milk is:

  1. Whole milk has more calories.

    2. You’re basically trying to cram as many calories into your skinny little frame as possible.

  2. Whole milk has more saturated fat.

    3. Oh, you thought saturated fat was bad? Well according to the online community of fitness “experts”, saturated fat helps promote testosterone production (the one real perk), but won’t affect your blood cholesterol, won’t give you heart disease, etc…

    Look, I’m not saying whether they’re right or wrong. But I’m pretty sure many of them graduated from medical school with the same GPA as Dr. Dre (who produced a riveting dissertation on the medicinal uses of marijuana).

Why are you telling me this

Because I’m doing it. Right now. This minute. Gallon jug in hand.

This article is part 1 of a series on the GOMAD diet. I’ve seen a lot of chatter around the Internet and in the gym of how great/terrible this diet is, so I’ve decided to take matters into my own hands and do a little self-experimentation for your education… Get your mind out of the gutter and focus.

I’m not talking about your typical meathead experimentation with random un-approved supplements with sinister sounding names: “Bro!! I just gained 8,000lbs on my bench press from taking this sweet supp called JACKED-UP PCP R.I.P.!! I think I may have just murdered all my family members with my bare hands, and I’m pretty sure I just ate your kitten, but look at how huge I am-DID YOU JUST LOOK AT ME FUNNY BECAUSE I AM RAGING RIGHT NOW”

No, no. I took measurements. I even went to the doctor. Yes, a real doctor, and got my blood work done. So here’s how this is going to work:

  • For 30 days I am going to drink 1 gallon of whole milk each and every day. I am going to lift heavy weight (I’m embarrassed to admit what passes as “heavy” these days) 3-4 days a week, as prescribed by most power/strength lifting routines.
  • I weighed myself and took my body fat measurements before starting. I will do so again the morning of December 1st before stepping into the doctor’s office.
  • I visited the doctor and had blood work done to check what my LDL, HDL (cholesterol) and triglyceride (fat in the blood) levels were at right before starting this diet. I will go back the morning of December 1st to have my blood work done again to see where these indicators are at (….among other things. JUST KIDDING GRANDMA).

My thinking is I will absolutely gain weight, strength, muscle, and fat. However, if I have diabetes, cancer, and my heart is about to explode, then is it really worth it?

It seems like many guys completely segregate their goals in the gym from the goals in the rest of their lives: Sure, I want to get strong. But I also want to have a wife and kids someday. I want to celebrate a 50th wedding anniversary. I want to be there to watch my son play his first tee ball game, scream at the umpire when he blows the call, and get escorted out of the stands like any good father would. If I have a daughter, I want to walk her down the aisle, and she better be wearing white or I will lay waste. You get the idea.

Point is, is it worth taking extreme measures to reach your fitness goals if you’re sacrificing your long term health? After all, fitness doesn’t just equate to strength. It equates to overall good health and longevity.

Now yoked, on the other hand, equates to all the above. That’s why we do this.

Bottom line

By the end of this series I hope to answer two questions for you:

  1. Does the GOMAD diet work.
  2. Will it kill you.

I hope this intrigues you, because I don’t want to do this for naught.

I’m not going to give you any links to any GOMAD related websites. I don’t want them to think I was specifically calling them out with my Dr. Dre comment, and then get sued for slander or some bull like that… You’d be amazed at what people are suing over these days.

Just type GOMAD into Google, and you’ll find plenty.