And so it begins… Another crazy diet plan, another 30 days of self experimentation.

Yesterday was day 1 of my Paleo venture, and as promised, I did everything by the book and then some. First thing on the agenda was the…

Measurements

In The Paleo Solution, Robb Wolf suggests getting blood work done to prove to your self/spouse/in-laws that this diet does in fact increase your health and vitality. This was reassuring to me, considering I had already planned on doing blood work before and after my 30 days on the Paleo diet. Affirmation that something you’re doing is actually a smart idea is always nice, since so much of what I say and do turns out to be pretty dumb.

Anyway, what this means is, yesterday morning I went into my doctors office in a fasting state (read – starving and slightly pissed) had a chat with her, and gave an abnormally large amount of blood since we’re going to be running quite a few different tests for my pre and post Paleo blood work.

I’ll keep my doctor anonymous, since I don’t want her to be sue-able for anything, but I was pleasantly surprised to find her actually quite supportive of my upcoming diet change. She seemed almost as excited as I was to get the blood work done and see what the results were before and after … Plus, having had her run many of the same tests for the GOMAD diet, she probably realized that it was completely futile to try and talk me out of it.

Alright, so scientific evidence of the effect the Paleo diet has on my body? Check…. Well, half check. I go back in the day I finish in May.

Many of you say, hey, that’s great, but I don’t care if I’m healthy or FEEL good. I want something that makes me LOOK good, regardless of whether or not it kills me a la spontaneous combustion before the age of 35.

Alright, fine.

Lucky for you, I too want the whole shebang. Feel good, look good, smell good, taste good (….what?). So to measure this, I drove to Gold’s Gym (where they haven’t seen my face for months, mind you) and strolled in with a smile and my handy body fat analyzer, stripped down in the locker room, weighed myself, body-fat-analyzed myself, and we currently stand at….

DAY 1 of the Paleo diet: 186lbs @ 9.6% body fat

I was pretty happy with that. I’m currently lifting to get stronger, not to look pretty (but let’s be honest, if working out made you uglier, you wouldn’t do it and neither would I). I’ve been in the 185-190lb. range for a few months now, and I have no intention to either lose or gain weight on this diet. I just plan on eating food as prescribed, and then see where the chips land.

Add to these semi-scientific measurements some before and after photographs, and you’ve got yourself an airtight argument either for or against the Paleo “solution” when this thing is all said and done!

As you can see, I’m well on my way towards being fully prepared for my role in the upcoming sequel to Powder, titled “Powder 2: Return to Crackerhood”

With all of our scientific, semi-scientific, and completely non-scientific-but-lets-be-real-looking-better-is-what-you-care-about-most, pre-Paleo measurements out of the way, it was on to that which is going to be the most difficult thing for me on this diet…

Cooking the damn food

Granted, it wasn’t all devoted to actually cooking, but I spent a total of 4 and a half friggin’ hours in the kitchen yesterday. Not an exaggeration. I would estimate that at least a good 3 were spent on the actual preparation, cooking, and storage of food. The rest was cleaning and organizing, as I try to get my Paleo kitchen in order.

As you can see, this diet can take a lot of time. Part of me thinks this is more due to my lack of ability in the kitchen though, and not because it should actually take that long to make the food. Plus, if you’re smart about it, you can cook things in bulk that will last you a few days rather than for just one meal.

Alright, cut to the chase. Here’s the full list of what I had yesterday:

• Baby Carrots
• Blackberries
• Raw Mixed Nuts (almonds, walnuts, pecans, brazil nuts, and hazelnuts)
• Grass-fed Tenderloin Steak with Pepper and Smoked Sea Salt
• Sautéed Kale (recipe)
• Mexi-Salad with fresh Guacamole (recipe)
• Americano (from Ellwoods Café, what-what!!)

From this list it may seem that I pigged out all day, but in reality I learned a huge lesson from day 1… Always bring more food to work/school/wherever than you think you’ll eat. I brought everything from the list above with me to work, with the exception of the Mexi-Salad and nuts, and by 11:30 this is what I was left with:

My stomach growling by 1, my willpower was tested already and I was only a few hours into day 1! But I held strong. I. Held. Strong… Yeah, by the time I got home I was famished.

I think reality hit me the hardest when I got my morning coffee. On the left is the coffee from the previous day: Mocha-fra-fra-chino whatever. On the right is the Americano. Don’t let the foam fool you. This is purely espresso and water. I had them pour it into a to-go cup, and off I went…

In the car, I put my camera on a timer, and captured my reaction to my new coffee-black style:

So optimistic and excited about my day and coffee...

t-minus 1 second. Wait for it...

A huge mistake has been made

Well, other than my harsh wakeup with the coffee (I’m sure I’ll get used to it and end up loving it… kind of like beer when I was 18…. Er, 21), ALL the food I ate yesterday was really quite delicious. In fact, the mexi-salad with guacamole was something I would pay money for at a restaurant… and probably a lot of money. It was monolithically, Paleolithically, delicious.

Alright, I need to wrap this up. As I stated in my game plan, I’m hitting the bed every night at 9pm for the duration of my Whole 30 to complement my Paleo diet with a more Paleo lifestyle (meaning get enough sleep for a change).

More to come soon….